Pantless Infamous Naming and Explanations of All Policies and Procedures of Leatherbound Excellence

​​The Sullivan Statute: For any and all decisions, disagreements, or altercations that arises in the league, if a civil and just agreement cannot be reached by the disputing parties, the reigning and all powerful Pantsless Parade Commissioner for Life Ms. Katie Sullivan shall have the final say. Commissioner Sullivan's decree must be carried out with a fair and unbiased​ mind, no matter the current and/or former coital relationships that Commissioner Sullivan is and/or has participated in with the said disputing party(s).Her decision shall not be met with any discord or anger, and her decision is final.

The Sterling Stipulation: The draft order for each seasons Rookie/FA draft will be determined by a game of Scott Sterling. Each player will have a designated number or shot glasses based on where they finished the previous season (8th gets 8, 7th gets 7 and so on). Once a player loses all shot glasses he will be eliminated from Sterling and will take the lowest remaining draft pick. If a player cannot attend the draft he must designate a substitute to roll/drink for him.

Article a -The Playoff Pronouncement: During the three vs. four and five vs. six playoff game, the winner will receive the extra shot glass instead of the loser.

The Draft Pick Policy: Each player may enter the draft with no more than five (5) picks across all 5 rounds of the linear draft. These picks can be accepted by trading for picks in ONLY the most recent regular season. No picks can be traded further than for the draft one season in advance.

Article a -The Draft Pick Pinnacle Postulate: No player can have more than two (2) 1st Round Picks, nor more than three (3) second round picks in a single draft.

Article b -The 3rd Round Canon: A player may choose to keep an extra (21st) player on their roster for the draft in exchange for losing a third (3rd) round draft pick. If the player does not have a third (3rd) round pick they may choose to lose a pick in an earlier round.

The Gano Guideline: Any new rule which members of the league would like to be addressed (Such as Pratts kicker rule) will be discussed and then voted on at the next draft. The rule must receive a simple majority (5 votes) in order to be implemented for the following season.

Article a -The Unanimous Ukase: Any rule that is voted on unanimously can be passed for the current season and does not need to wait for the following year or draft for vote.

The Carson/Crowder Collusion Commandment: Rules cannot be implemented or changed midseason. Whether league rules or rules for Ian Bets, all must wait until the next draft as set forth by the Gano Guideline.

The Ian Bet Bill: Before each week’s Thursday night game, Ian and his weekly opponent shall come to a gentleman's agreement (haza) on a wager for that week’s matchup. Once agreed upon, the bet must be sent to the IBC and IBCM for approval. Once approved the aforementioned IBC and IBCM will create a set of rules that must be followed by both participants for that week’s Ian Bet.

Article a -The Punishment Precedent: Any league member who fails to complete his Ian Bet punishment by the start of the next season or a previously agreed upon time frame, will be subject to league slapulation.

Article b -The SUPERBET Sovereignty: At the draft, one of the teams Ian plays twice in the coming season will be selected for the SUPERBET. Results of the SUPERBET will be based upon the combined score between the two games the Bettors play that season. Since it will only be one punishment, it will be a 'higher stakes punishment'. To define higher stakes, a simple majority (5) must vote to decline the SUPERBET if the league deems the SUPERBET to not be high stakes enough. SUPERBET BETTOR will be rotated and no repeats can occur until every member of the Pantless Parade has participated at least once.

The Toilet Bowl Tenet: The 8th place and 7th place finisher in the regular season of the Pantless Parade must battle in one final matchup during Week 1 and 2 of the Pantsless Playoffs with highest overall score winning. This matchup will be the deciding factor in what team will finish the season as the official Toilet Bowl Team. This team will carry that title, and The Carlson™, for the entire year. The trophy must always be present and visible in a common room of the Toilet Bowl Team's house until another Toilet Bowl Team wins the Title next year.

The Olympic Order: Every fourth season, beginning with the 2022 season, the Pantsless Parade league will compete in the Fantasy Football Olympics. During this season, the league buy-in will be increased by $50 and the additional buy-in money will be used for prize money for the Olympic Events. The league will agree on 8 events for the duration of the season with prize money handed out at the end to the top 3 in each event for gold, silver and bronze.